Zoe and Theodora part 59

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140. At first the emperor treated the man with indifference. In fact, he only appeared at court every now and then after the ceremony of ablution. It was typical of the emperor though, that as time passed he should take more pleasure in his babblings, till he reached a point where he found himself unable to be parted from the fellow. Consequently there was no time set apart for his foolery: even when Constantine was holding audience, appointing magistrates, or carrying out any of his other public duties, the man was there with him, showing off his natural defect and generally acting the clown. Indeed, there can be no doubt but that the emperor encouraged him.

He went further: he made a new man of him, an imitation of the great men of the realm, and this street-lounger was translated to the centre of Roman government. He was rapidly promoted to positions of honour, took his place with the chief officers of state, had permission to go anywhere, and was appointed captain of the emperor’s bodyguard.

With characteristic lack of courtesy he did not confine his visits to his master to any fixed time, but suited his own convenience. He would go up to him, kiss him on breast and face alike, speak to him without first being addressed himself, and then, breaking into a wide grin, sit down on the same couch, and squeeze the emperor’s feeble hands between his own, an action that pained him, yet at the same time gave him pleasure.

Constantine understood the general drift

141. For my own part I did not know at whom to wonder the more, this fellow who had been transformed to suit the whim and fancy of the emperor, or the sovereign who brought himself down to the other’s level, for each was desirous of pleasing the other, and they were devoted friends. What the master wanted the comedian did: what he did the master wanted. So it came about that although Constantine understood the general drift of his clowning, he was still content to be the object of buffoonery, and the actor made merry over his ruler’s stupidity, making joke after joke admirably suited to the other’s simple nature.

142. It went so far that the emperor refused to be parted from him at all. The clown, on the other hand, became bored with this constant attendance. He longed for freedom, to pass the time as he wished. Now it chanced on a certain occasion that he lost a particularly good polo-pony. At that time he used to sleep beside the emperor, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, he got up, roused him from a deep sleep, and gave way to uncontrollable demonstrations of joy. Constantine, who was by no means displeased at being awakened in this manner, asked him what was the matter and why he was so exultant.

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