The clown put his arms round the emperor’s neck and kissed him, over and over again, on the face ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘he has been found — the horse that I lost! It is a eunuch that rides him now, a wrinkled old chap, too old for riding. Please let me take a horse now from the palace and bring him here to you, and the mount with him.’ At these words the emperor laughed most gaily. ‘Ah well,’ he replied, ‘you have my permission to go — but mind you come back as quickly as possible, and tell me all about it when you find him.’
So off he went, without more ado, to enjoy the pleasures he had in mind. After his feasting was done, back he came in the evening, panting and puffing, trailing behind him a eunuch. ‘Here he is, Sir,’ he said, ‘the fellow who stole my horse. He has it for sure, but refuses to give it up. What is more, he swears he never stole it in the first place.’ At this, the poor old man appeared to be weeping. He seemed to be at a loss for words to answer the clown’s abuse. The emperor, meanwhile, did not know how to refrain from laughing.
143.To settle the matter, he consoled the one with a fresh horse a better one too, while he quenched the counterfeit tears of the eunuch with gifts which surpassed his wildest dreams. Actually, this eunuch was one of the comedian’s most fervid admirers, and the object of his flattery had long desired him to benefit from the emperor’s generosity.
Constantine did not know
Since, however, he could hardly petition the sovereign on behalf of a man Constantine did not know, he devised the playacting about his dream and made the emperor his dupe, tricking him with the story of the old man and his own imaginary vision — a deceit made the easier by the emperor’s somewhat dull wit.
What made it even more deplorable was the fact that we were all aware of his duplicity, but as for denouncing that duplicity, we never dreamed of it: we were merely the victims, compelled to witness the emperor’s stupidity and the other’s clowning in public, forced to laugh at things which should have made us weep.
Indeed, if I had not promised to write on serious matters, and if I cared to record foolish trifles, my history would be augmented with a vast collection of such anecdotes. This is only one of many, and it must serve as an example of the rest. I will return to my narrative of events as they happened.
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