When they met me, each of them recognized in me something of a kindred spirit, and I, no less, saw mirrored in them my own enthusiasms: we were complementary one to the other. Just as my studies were more advanced, so, if I may be allowed to say it, was my spiritual progress. My position at court, moreover, was higher than theirs. Since I could not bear to be separated from them in any way, I at once introduced one of them to the emperor. The other, who was not so willing to approach the sovereign, was presented later.
193. When we were all admitted to the imperial circle and enjoyed to the full what men call ‘high life’, we naturally got to know how affairs were conducted, and we were not very favourably impressed by this outward splendour. However, each of us was afraid to express his feelings: each waited for a suitable opportunity before revealing his inmost thoughts.
The primary cause of our mutual revelations was provided by the emperor himself. It was he who set in motion the chariot of state, and of those who rode in it most were thrown overboard or struck down by him. As we, too, were aboard, there was every reason why we should fear some great jolt on the wheel: he might jerk us off, as well as the rest, for we were not very firmly seated.
Immediate or sudden alteration
194. Such was the reason for our common decision — it was the emperor’s own character that made us choose the monastic life. Having once arrived at the same conclusion, each of us revealed his secret intention to the other two. It was as if each read the other’s thoughts. We were agreed, therefore, on the action to be taken and we made an everlasting covenant, but seeing that any immediate or sudden alteration of status on the part of all together would be, necessarily, out of the question, we postponed it for the present. Nevertheless, we bound ourselves by solemn oaths to follow the example of the first one to become a monk.
195. First to lead us along the path to God was he on whom Fortune had smiled most favourably. True to his character, having once made a decision on solid grounds and having once determined to serve God, he brought forward a pretext for his conversion. He pleaded ill-health. Bit by bit, with much panting and puffing, he informed the emperor of his trouble, and begged to be allowed to go. Constantine was much concerned over the matter, but he gave his permission. It grieved him exceedingly to lose so soon a man of such qualities.**148
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