If I had any information I was on no account to conceal it from her. This was not the first occasion on which I had an interview with her. In fact, even during Monomachus’s lifetime, if she wished to write secret dispatches or conduct any other private business, it was her habit to consult me about her letters and her plans.
14. My visits, made at her invitation, excited jealousy, and when those who had got there before me were unable to injure my reputation with malicious tales, they proceeded to criticize my monastic robes and the way I lived apart from the others. Theodora listened to their complaints and in future she was careful to treat them with the same friendly regard as myself. However, I saw how things stood, and my visits became less frequent, with the result that she again turned to me for advice. She reproached me for lack of initiative and accused me of neglecting her orders altogether.
15. This typifies her tenacity of purpose and the way she would set her heart on some course of action, regardless of consequences. The truth is, she had little faith in her own opinions, and this led her to fear for the future welfare of the Empire. So she came to rely more on the advice of others than on herself.
There is no doubt that she had a great respect for the emperor who preceded her, even after his death. Not only did she keep alive the memory of his noble deeds, but no decision made by him, so far as she was concerned, could be looked on as worthless. Despite this determination to follow his example, she failed, with the result that most of his measures were rendered useless.
Denied the privilege
As a matter of fact, the person to whom she entrusted the general supervision of the governments — the man I was speaking of just now — having failed to obtain high honours in the reign of the last emperor, and having been denied the privilege of standing beside him in council, as he had always done in the case of the sovereigns before him, grumbled at Constantine during his lifetime and, now that he was dead, bore him malice for past slights. Of course, there was some justification for what he did, as well as for the attitude of the empress, and for the feelings of others who had been ill-disposed toward Monomachus. What was indefensible was the way she forgot that she was only a temporary dweller on this earth, and her failure to make proper provision for the future.
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